At a Crossroads

It has been over a year since I started this blog and we ventured out on this journey to our daughter Sophia. The road we have been on has had many twists and turns, but we have always felt that we were supposed to be on it. If you follow this blog, you know that we have been fundraising for quite some time now--it seems like forever--and we still have a long way to go. Just recently I ventured out in my faith walk and for the first time fasted and prayed (the fasting was the new part for me!) for three specific requests, one of them being our adoption finances. We were to hear this past week whether or not we received a grant from an organization that has given substantial adoption grants to at least two people that I personally know. I had high hopes that God was going to use that agency to supply a good chunk of our funds. Well, we found out yesterday that our request was denied. To say that I was bummed is putting it mildly. Put that on top of not getting the last $2000 we need for the agency fee after a month of praying and waiting...you see why I'm at a crossroads.

In one direction I have the choice of taking this latest turn of events and saying that God is trying to tell us that we shouldn't be on this journey...He hasn't provided in what I feel is a timely fashion, so maybe this is His way of closing the door. In the other direction I have the choice of saying that God has something bigger and better planned, just keep trusting and taking baby steps forward. He doesn't need a grant agency to make this happen. But how long do I wait until I'm back to the first choice...you see why I'm at a crossroads.

I guess all of this to say that I could use your prayers right now. I'm not sure in which direction to turn. I'm so thankful for my husband who seems to be up when I'm down (and vice versa!) He doesn't talk as much about the adoption as I do (or blog about it!) but apparently he's been thinking and praying about it a lot recently, because when I was blubbering yesterday he said he's more sure than ever that we are supposed to do this. Maybe I'm being impatient, but I know that if our dossier is not to Taiwan before our home study is six months old (which it will be the beginning of October) then we have to redo the home study which will cost us more money...which we don't have to begin with! I'm tired of fundraising and asking the same people to buy this or donate that. I'm just being real here. However, I'm so grateful for those who have given in so many ways, and it's my feeling of accountability to them that really keeps me going some days--I'm not ready to give up yet because so many people have invested in our daughter's homecoming...you see why I'm at a crossroads?

I'm not sure what else to say except...

Thanks for your prayers...

Increase My Faith!

This past week we were at a Bible conference in upstate New York. It was a great time of rest and relaxation. We heard some great preaching/teaching, and spent time with some dear friends. On Tuesday, the conference center has a ladies' luncheon. The speaker spoke on faith. I was really touched by how she and her husband have stepped out by faith over the 40+ years of their marriage, and how they have seen God show up in really big ways. After she spoke, I told her about our adoption efforts, and how we are trusting God to supply our financial needs. I told her that her words had encouraged me anew to keep the faith. I know my God is big enough to meet ALL of our adoption needs!

At the end of her testimony, the speaker on Tuesday had us sing an old hymn that I have sung many times. But the words really struck a chord with me this time...especially the second verse. The hymn is entitled "His Eye is on the Sparrow":

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come, Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home, When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He: His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Chorus:
I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free, For His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear, And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears; Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see (emphasis mine!); His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise, When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies, I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free; His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I really want to write a check for the entire adoption agency fee and surprise my agency when they open my letter...I have hesitated to write a check for half of it, thinking that perhaps God will supply in a miraculous way. If God's eye is on the little sparrow, then I know He is also watching me, and He knows just how and when and from where our funds will come. Will you pray for my faith to be increased? Thanks!

"Faith is believing what God SAYS HE WILL DO...He will supply all my needs in Christ Jesus!"

Only $2000 More Needed!

We are praising God today for another generous gift from another dear friend which puts us only $2000 shy of our agency fee! Please thank God with us and continue to pray for a miracle...the sooner we have our entire agency fee, the sooner our dossier gets to Taiwan, and the sooner we get our referral for Sophia!

Praising God from Whom all blessings flow!

Unexpected Surprise

Guess what came in the mail today, much earlier than anticipated? Our I-797C, the document stating that we have been approved for our advanced processing of orphan petition! I had heard that this could take up to 12 weeks to come through, and we had only done our fingerprinting and such in early June. We now have everything we need to submit our dossier to our agency and then to Taiwan EXCEPT...the second half of the agency fee! If I had another $2750 to send to our agency, I could have our dossier to them in the next week and to Taiwan in the next month...we would be that much closer to a referral for our little Sophia. Will you please pray with me that this money will come in sooner rather than later? I know God can do this! Thanks!

Praying for the next step to Sophia...

Half Way There!

Thanks to the generosity of some dear people, and the sale of our cookbooks and sub tickets, we are over halfway to our goal of $5500 for our agency fee! Praise God! I will probably be sending the first half of the fee to our agency this week, as it really is overdue anyway...they have been most gracious in working with us. The second half is due with all of our dossier documents, so please pray with us that it will come in by September when we hope to have everything ready to go for our dossier.

Thanks for praying with us...until Sophia is home!

Musings...

It's hard for my carnal self not to get jealous when I hear of hugely successful fundraisers that others have done to get money for their adoptions. But they always know someone who knows someone who knows someone, and the word gets out and God moves in a great way for them. I know God can do the same for us, but He may choose not to. That's the hard pill to swallow. But, we keep trusting and moving forward nonetheless. Because that's what faith is all about, right?

On another note, our scrapbook is done and on its way to us from Snapfish. I hope it turns out nicely when it's printed. It's kind of hard to tell on a computer screen.

Please pray for our faith to be increased as we wait and wait and wait...for Sophia.

Discouragement

I have been reading several adoption blogs recently where all that is holding up the adoption is "red tape" and/or finances. So far we haven't run into "red tape", but I sure can relate to the finances. On days like today I wonder if we shouldn't just give up on this dream, because it just seems too impossible. I only have limited resources for fundraising, and, to be quite frank, I'm tired of asking for money. The only thing that really keeps me going is that I know God is able, and He could provide the money tomorrow if He wanted to. So, I plug along, but not always happily. It's just one of those days.

I know God is able to bring Sophia home, but...