PADS

Hard to believe it's been 10 days since I last posted...it really feels like an eternity.  We have been home in PA for a week now, and it's honestly been the hardest week of my life--right up there with those mind-numbing, sleepless weeks after giving birth.  Sophia has had a very hard time adjusting to sleeping at night, and we have had a hard time knowing how to help her.  As a result of very little sleep, high anxiety, jet lag, etc., etc., my health went downhill very quickly last week, resulting in a doctor's visit and trip to the ER.  Consequently, I have been diagnosed with PADS--Post Adoption Depression Syndrome--a very real and crippling syndrome akin to Postpartum Depression.  Fortunately, my husband and I recognized the symptoms of depression and I am now on some medication to help me over this hump, and my wonderful mother is here for the first week of Dave being back in Indiana to help me get some rest and proper nutrition.  This is uncharted territory for me...I usually have it all together and under control.  But this was beyond my control.  But not beyond God's.

This afternoon I began feeling somewhat like myself again, but I know I have a long way to go, and proper rest is so key.  Sophia has been doing pretty well during the day, alternating between playing by herself or with her brothers and wanting to be snuggled.  We have gone to the pediatrician and tomorrow she has blood work to endure, but so far things look good.  Eating has been a struggle, but she is doing better every day.  So I really have a lot to be thankful for.  We are getting to know one another and the bonding is coming slowly but surely.  Last week it was hard to even be around her...it was a conscious choice each day.  Now I am beginning to enjoy her little personality.  We have a long way to go in our bonding and attachment, but it's starting.

I can't thank you all enough for your prayers for us during this time.  So many of my fellow adoptive parents have been my cheerleaders during these three weeks.  I am indebted to all of you.  Adoption is a beautiful thing, but it's not without it's challenges.  And adopting a toddler, as my sister who adopted two at once says, "is not for the fainthearted!"  But as my mom said just today, she believes that Sophia will be a blessing to many in the years ahead, and I am beginning to agree.  I can't wait to get her therapies started and see just how far her determination and strong-will will take her.  God has given her so much potential!

I promise some photos soon, but several children are clamoring...back to the reality of motherhood!

Praying for a good night of sleep!!!